DAILY EXPRESS: VOTE GREEN OR EARTH WILL PERISH

In a sudden change of heart the Daily Express ‘newspaper’ is backing a Green Party surge, ahead of Thursday’s general election. An editorial says the paper backs the party’s anti-austerity agenda and in particular agrees with their concerns about the environment and need for urgent action to address climate change. The editorial states, “The Green…

MILIBAND SCANDAL: He puts wrappers back in the Roses tin

Scandal expected to finally give Tories the poll breakthrough they crave. Ed Miliband is such a bastard that he puts empty wrappers back in the Roses tin after he’s eaten a chocolate, it has emerged. The news was released by Tory HQ after a number of polls suggested that a number of people still intend…

Panic as London media runs out of Scottish clichés and stereotypes

Leading national newspapers and broadcasters have launched a desperate appeal for more Scottish clichés and stereotypes after all existing descriptions of Scotland and its inhabitants ran out, we can report. Having induced panic among the population of England with predictions that Scottish hoards wielding fried Mars bars will storm London on 8th May, the press…