The British media has given widespread coverage today to the news that an old lady from London has got a bit older. A Mrs Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg-Gotha is now a day older than she was yesterday and plans to celebrate with a coach trip up to Scotland.
Speaking exclusively to Not London News, Mrs Saxe-Coburg-Gotha, of German heritage, said, “I’m going to head up to Scotland with him indoors. He’s a right gumpy owd bugger but we’ve been together years now and, in all honesty, it’s probably a bit late to be looking for a new fella. I’m stuck with what I’ve got. It’s a bit like this job I’ve been doing for the last sixty-odd years. They won’t let me retire. How many other eighty-nine year olds do you know that are still working full-time? Even my great great granny didn’t do the gig for this long.”
Meanwhile large swathes of the population gave a collective shrug of the shoulders to the news.